Often, I’ve wondered how on earth these past few years have flown by so fast. My twin daughters are now eight and, quite frankly, I am a little bit in disbelief. Wasn’t it just yesterday I worried myself sick that one of my girls would stubbornly drink forever from a sippy cup? Or, that her sister would never sleep without a pacifier? What about the epic potty training battle? My children would just sit there, lounging on tiny commodes, chatting away like it was coffee hour. I was convinced they would go off to college still in diapers. Lately, as their independence grows, I feel a shift. As a mother of twins, without any other children, all I have known since their birth is a constant sense of playing catch up. Life has certainly been busy! Mothering two newborns at once was a juggling act. I never experienced popping one infant in a front carrier and heading off to a mommy and me class. Strolling around New York City toting a tot, while chatting with a mom friend, was not in my cards. Instead, just trying to get out of my apartment daily for fresh air was a struggle. Wrestling two sets of jackets, shoes and hats onto extremely active young children was a circus. Inevitably, after getting both kids dressed and ready for an excursion a diaper would need to be changed, again!
Believe me, I am not complaining. My mom calls the twosome miracles. You see, my path to parenthood was not an easy one. Often, my husband and I would wonder if we’d ever have a child of our own. After many years, and much heartbreak, my two little ladies were finally born.
Nowadays, they need me a little less in ways that they used to. No longer do I lift my daughters into high chairs, cut their fruit into tiny pieces or feed them with mini spoons. These days the duo open the kitchen snack drawer and choose for themselves. If my kids had a younger sibling, I’d probably feel this change a little less. As lovely as it is to experience them developing into their future selves, my heart hurts a bit. I long to freeze time, or just slow it down a smidge.
Each day after school, when my twins disembark from their school bus, I am greeted with hugs and constant chatter recalling tales of the day. I soak it in. This new stage includes much “girl talk.” As both recant their adventures, including daily highs and lows, they nosh and unwind. It dawned on me recently that we are setting the stage for our future relationship. What will these upcoming gabfests entail? Discussing their latest crushes? Or, will I listen to worries regarding school grades? At some point, years from now, I imagine talks will revolve around college and campus visits. Perhaps, much later, the families they may create will be the main topic. Over the years, a good chat with my parents has always been good for my soul. I want to make sure my children know I’ll be there for them in this same way. But for now, I’ll try to remind myself to stay in the present and cozy up with my two cuties every chance I get. During this stage of life while conversing, we love to sip hot chocolate with marshmallows, but in the future perhaps we will transition to lattes and cappuccinos.
“Mommy, it really upset me the way she talked over her,” my thoughtful daughter confided to me as she sipped her warm coca. “They are both my friends and I wish she had included her.”
“I know, it’s hard to see a friend feel left out. Especially when you’ve felt this way yourself at times.” I rubbed her little back.
“She’s quiet, like me,” she sighed. “I tried, but my other new friend only wanted to talk to me. It made me uncomfortable.”
“Being extremely compassionate is one reason why you are such a good friend,” I replied. “You’re very good at showing up for your friends and always truly listen to them. Over time, they will greatly appreciate this about you.”
“Mmmm,” her blue eyes looked worried. “I didn’t want to make either upset with me today. What if they don’t talk to me tomorrow?”
“They will, honey. Perhaps tomorrow you could give the friend you felt was being overlooked a little extra attention?”
“Ok. Friendship isn’t always easy.”
“Absolutely. It is the same way for adults too. But the right friends will get you,” I promised. “Whether you’ve known them for decades or only for a few months, the ones that really understand you will become like family. I think in this case, you are all getting to know each other and figuring out how to interact.”
“Yeah.” Her brow furrowed.
“You’re doing great,” I assured her.
“Thanks. Can I have another cookie? Will you make me sparkling lemonade?” Discussion over, snacking resumed.
Ah, if only all of life’s worries could be solved with a cookie and a fun pink drink!
Sparkling Pink Lemonade
6 pink lemons
5 cups cold berry flavored carbonated seltzer
1 cup puréed strawberries (you will need about 1/2 pound of fresh berries)
5 tablespoons honey
First juice the lemons. Will make about 1 cup of liquid. Now pour the juice into a large pitcher. Next add in the seltzer, puréed berries and honey. Stir well. Refrigerate till chilled.
Purée tips: Place halved strawberries in a blender. Then blend for about one minute. After the resulting purée is the desired thickness, strain through a mesh sieve to remove seeds.
